Echoing Silences

If I lose you, my love
I'm scared, not of
Years wasted
And neither shall I
Find myself unable to live without you
[I'll be strong and move on
And all that, you know!]
What does scare me, love
Is the thought of
My dreams, trashed -
Rendered pointless
Of pain excruciating, But meaningless
Of a pain that will
Fade away with time -
Like a fading rag in the sun
There are things you're not supposed to
Talk objectively about
And I dread being talked of
Objectively - as your past
Like a long-forgotten taste of
Vanilla flavored coffee
And, sunshine, don't let my memory
Come as a lump of guilt
Or a pang of heartache
Or a moment of sundown
Let it play in the twitch of your smile
And promise me,
That a part of me will continue to live in you
And I swear, that
A part of you shall forever be in my soul.

Nothing seems real anymore

Inside I know there's so much
I come to write it out
And I end up with scribbles
Nothing feels real anymore
Have I forgotten how easy
The words used to flow?
How everything was let out
And deeply from the heart?
Do I no longer know what I feel?
Pleading with life to just sweep me up
Going with the wind carelessly
Unfeelingly, and numb like a twig
Everything I'm feeling is
Unfelt, as if I'm not there
Unreal, as if I'm just asleep
And pain doesn't even exist
Maybe I'm setting myself on auto-life
A life of absense and unfelt emotions
A life with no needs of happiness
Nor pain from grieving loss
Just a life accomplishing a goal
A goal that another has set for me
And I'm unaware of it all :(

A brother like you

Someone who will understand

Who knows the way I feel in every situtation

Their concern is very real

Someone who has walked my way

Who knows my every need

Times when they would see me cry

Their heart would nearly bleed

Everyone should have a brother the way I do

Richly blessed is what I am

To have a brother like you :)

This is for my chota wala bro Andy Candy.Exactly one year back I met him in the Bryan Adams community of orkut and I feel so fortunate to have him :).Had always wanted a kid bro someone I could jamao hak on lolzzzz and finally god gave me one :)

He is all things attached into one....kid bro,good friend,at times bada wala bro too when a tough hand is needed to handle me lol.Comes in the list of very very few people who I could call my own :)

Dunno what to say bro I am kinda out of words today...all I can say is thnx for being there for me...always :)

A Year A lifetime

Yesterday was the first anniversary of my friendship with Lucky.Cant believ a whole year has already passed since I met her.Cant also believ that its just been one year since I know her...feels like a lifetime....feels like I have known her forever :)

Yesterday was one of the most precious moments I have shared with her/We met in the Brian Adams fans community of Orkut.We both just opened up the old pages of the community (after a hell of a lot of searching) and went through the first convo we had or shall we say the first time me n Lucky teamed up for the boys vs gals game.

Got me all mushy mushy.Kahan gaye wo din...jab we were kids,koi tension nahi lete the....xcept for the tension of doing anything to win the game by hook or by crook lol :D...got tears in my eyes....made me nostalgic :(

I seriously want those days...that me back....yes I know I have changed...why..how I dunno all I know is that it has happened & I miss that old Shaivi :(

Anyways this post is dedicated to my friendship (thats too lame a word for what I share with her...but couldnt find a word to describe it too coz it dosent exist lol) with this charming, lively,always smiling gal Lucky....mela Tonu...luv ya baby...luv ya for being there,luv ya for making me feel so special,luv ya for our friendship,luv ya.....FOR JUST BEING YOU :)

Something beautiful I came across

These lines touched me soo much I am beyond words

I'm not begging you to love me.

I'm not really even asking you to.

But isn't it alright if i cherish that hope in my heart ?

If i just dream of holding your hand it will hurt me and not you.

I'll try to keep my eyes from shining when they see you and

I promise not to smile a special smile when you say hello.

But please...

Don't ask me

Not to love you.

Days,Moments,Times

Some time it feels nauseating
At other times exhilarating

Days.......
..........When I am at the top
......... When I am scraping at the bottom
......... When I feel I am destined to be somebody
......... When I feel Nobody is not a bad option
......... When I long for someone
......... When I don't give a damn

Moments..........
................ When I want my friends to talk to me
................ When I want them to just shut the fuck up
................ When I want people to surround me
................ When I want to be a recluse
................ When I can't stop loving her
................ When I can't stop loving myself
................ When I hate myself

Times.......
...........When I soar
.......... When I fall



P.S. How many "dots" are there in this dumb post!!!