God said....

Not a day of peace. . . and that's what's in store for you in this life, my dear
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...And I am living it out.
But I wonder,
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why did He add "my dear" at the end?

All alone

Why have things changed so much ???
Why has everyone moved so far???
She says people still care...
So why dont I feel it anymore???
Why has everyone deserted me???
All alone when I needed them the most...
And when not one not two but everyone is deserting me....
The only person to be blamed is me I know....
Something is seriously wrong with me.....
Please anyone tell me why is it so ....
Deserted me everyone has...
However much she says no...:(


I know...the poem is too bad to call it a poem...no rhyming etc etc etc ...so sue me.....but I dont give a damn...thats how I am feeling right now and I love it coz it tells my position so very perfectly

Heart attack time lol :p

Well what to say about this over....Every Indian already knows it lolzzzzz

Fantastic memories

A momemt I will cherish for the rest of my life

Talking aloud

There are some things I would probably never understand. Like what is the point of life? The point of my life, especially, provided there exists a thing such as "my life". Sometimes it feels like another of those assumed abstract concepts invented by man to feel better about himself, or to feel as if he's getting somewhere. But say there is not just a life but a "my life" too, what in Merlin's name is that supposed to mean?

All right I am getting carried away, so apologies for a volley of crap. I'm not to rant and not to digress too much here. I'm just trying to think aloud, because I feel kinda strange, kinda weird. I feel kinda empty, albeit there's no reason to. Life is going just fine, in fact better than it has been in a long long time. Everything's good, more or less, I'm happy, but somehow I'm not content. Or even if I'm content, I'm not at peace with the peace. Or even if that is not true, then at least I'm not used to the tranquility. Which is probably why in the midst of perfectly nice and normal 8/10 moments, I suddenly get an electric signal from somewhere within my body that makes me snap off and I don't even recognise what's happened. I grow depressed when that happens, even when theres nothing to be depressed or sad about. Life's a rosy picture! But I just grow puzzled. Okay, I know this must be too much for anyone who's still reading this for when I cannot understand me, how can you. But chill, I'm just thinking aloud, so you may leave now, or laugh and leave later. I've no qualms with being left.

Or maybe I do, but not now, not of being left by YOU now, but being left back all the time in the broader picture. Bah! Insecurity again. Incurable? Whatever! I don't see much of a point in getting insecure, or getting scared of ebing insecure. Either way it's a waste of time. What I'm more interested in ( or should be) is understanding what this strange tranquility is doing to me, and why is it even there? It's strange because it's tranquil simply by the virtue of being eventless without being comforting, indolent without bein endearing. To my mind this is an irreversible change that what I went through in a few months did to me. The left alone loneliness was something I grew up with, but it was a year back that it really hit me full force, especially when I had the leisure to examine and belatedly feel the impact of past events. I'm strange in the sense that while I'm not short of people I care about today and who care about me today, I have not one I could say with any degree of faith that he/she would care tomorrow. I'm jealous of people with close friends, very good friends, lifetime friends. I'm jealous of people with stable, committed, lasting relationships. At the moment I'm jealous of people who can randomly call up or walk up to somebody at 10 minutes past 12 in the night just because they want to speak to someone. I'm jealous of everyone who doesn't feel lonely in a crowd, who doesn't feel uncertain of everything and who doesn;t feel a meaningless emptiness inside. I'm jealous of everyone who has someone to return to, who's a someone they want to return to, every evening. I know nobody has everything, I know I'm better off than about 80% people in the world overall, and I know I feel jealous over stupid things, but you know, these feelings are so petty they throw me to the ground face down and make me realise that I'm just a petty average useless human being. Just another in the crowd.

And that kind of a realisation hurts in a weird sorta way again. For the following two minutes, several currents and pains and cranps appear between the heart and the stomach and make you cringe in an unexpressable pain. Then it disappears, as if Misery's moment of glory is lost. Then I can smile again and rewind and play one of the lectures I distribute to everyone for free. The everyone that changes all the time until it would finally disappear.

I have no clue how life would turn out in a few months from now, when the few people I still rely on for support would also leave. Will I be back to where I started? I guess not, simply because I don't have the same innocence, grit, habit and absence of memories any more. Then what?

How long would I be an anchorless river, hitting at banks and boulders and walls and cliffs, getting drained of water, waiting for the sea? How long would I endure? How much before I get tired and quit?

How soon am I allowed to pack up?

How long would you guys stay???

My dear best friend

I know you don't read this.
I know you simply don't care.
I know it doesn't even affect you now.
But everything is certainly not fair.
I don't even remember what the fight was about
I just remember I never fought
I just remember you're still the same for me
How can you not even give me a thought?
I cant stop missing you.
It hurts really bad.
Please forgive me.
Please come back.

Seeking solace

I am not afraid of failure. What appalls me is not giving my best.When I do my best, even the most humiliating of defeats seems to be but a lesson. When I don't, I know that even the most exalting victory is nothing more than a fluke.

As some wise man must have once said;

"Its not the destiny that matters afterall what persists is the road traversed"

Those extra toppings

I am generally in a happy mood ….wont cling around the mood off for much time although it is pretty frequent lolzzzz. Am not saying that am not low and always happy.I go through the low phases pretty frequently but even in those moments I can still find happiness in simple things of life.That’s how it is with me …cannot lead a day wrapped in the unhappiness. I have to be happy without a reason in all the seasons. Still sometimes few things that give that additional happiness are always welcome. Like those extra toppings for a hot, yummy Pizza!! Right?

Here goes my List :-

Surprise Surprise!!!
Surprises in good taste are welcome. They give that instant lift to the good happy mood…especially when you are not expecting them at all. It can be anything from a letter; a call to an expensive gift. Love them all.

Great Food
Well, if someone treats me with great food; they get all my blessings J J just kidding!! But yes a treat with good food with a good ambience, some music in background; works perfect for me.

Gifts Gifts
Work great as well but in a different way. I love to buy those perfect gifts for those beloved ones. Love to see those beaming faces when they like the gifts. Nothing like that. The fun is doubled when those small kiddos tell me what they want and ask me to courier the stuff. Give a call back to tell how much they liked it!!

Cooking
When I try something new; and it works out perfectly as it has to be. Sounds so good!! if someone likes it ; that’s additional incentive :P

Home
It is a perfect place for me; where I am at my best. Cool, composed, and at compete ease. I am most happy when I am at home.

Books
Nothing like lazing around with an interesting book; some chips and hot freshly brewed tea with hint of ginger. It gives me immense pleasure.

Another year in paradise

After completing so many years of my life I feel as if I am standing midway of my life … I traveled a long path and have to travel a long path … weird me and my weird thoughts… am not so happy ..am not so sad …

If I analyze my life so far I actually had so many beautiful moments, amazing people, loads of love, plenty of surprises, few dull moments .. but still I am having a fear … a fear that never leaves me ..even on birthday I had that fear ..a strange fear ..to overcome that fear is my only wish today ..

And I wanna thanks to my special friends for making my birthday a sweet memory ..I don’t wanna write their names here because i know they already know that they are special to me and I mean it ....

Love you >:D< (to my bestest people ) And here is the cake ( though candles jalaate time naam bigad gaya :( )

Join me:)

Celebrated my birthday yesterday.Now please dont again ask me why i celebrated it yesterday lolzzzz :p...poor me was having exams on my birthday but man I had a blast yesterday.Worth waiting for :)Got a watch from mom and dad and 2,000 bucks from my daadu.Bhai already gifted me a digicam way back :D

Main to maalamaal ho gayi lolzzzzz;)

Reply to comments

As i said cant reply to peopes comments because of some problem on some more icing so will do here :)

@ arjun...i agree most of the social services and people are corrupted...but stil there is that 0.5% which really works for the upliftment of others unselfishly I was talking about them :)

@ arjun ji nahi it is a general notion ab tu xception hai to main kya karoon...n shut up teacher is always right :x:p

What the hell is wrong with Indian Government?????

There is lot of hoola-hoo on Ram Setu Destruction,it is being conducted to construction of a bridge that will connect Indian sub-continent to Sri Lanka.I dont really understand just what the hell is the wrong with the Indian Government?????

Should the setu be there or not is another issue entirely but why hurt sentiments of people by saying that Lord Ram did not exist & is only a character of fiction???If i go around saying that the idols of the other communities are a fictional character ...are the communities relating to them gonna sit quite ???Wont it hurt there sentiments???And on top of that such an irresponsible statement frm the Government of India??? In the debate whether the setu should be there or not where the hell does the question arises about Ram's existence????

No one has seen God and no one (of all communities) has any proof that God really exists.Its just the belief the faith of a person which takes the form of whichever idol he/she believes in.By putting such irresponsible questions like this the Government is actually questioning that faith that belief of people.In just a single minute they have changed the faith of the people in some kind of a joke.

It is being said that it is being constructed for the good of the people.Good of the people???What crap!!!I read in the newspaper today a lot of environmentalist are against the destruction of this setu because this setu is saving India from real big tsunami disasters.The impact of the tsunami lessens quite a lot because of this setu.Infact the tsunami that hit Indian shores in the year 2004 would have been a lot more powerful had it not been for this setu preventing it.Had it not been for this setu Kerala wouldnt have been there now.I would love to ask this dear Government of ours what is more important??Increase of trade thruogh a shortcut or puuting a thousands life in danger by destroying this setu??We need to analyse all the pros and cons and decide if its gonna harm us more than its gonna benefit us

Marital violence-One of the most disgusting phenomenon

Saw a woman being slapped by her husband on the road last week. Was completely shaken to know that there still are families where this happens. Then saw some men stop by the couple and beat up the man shouting something, so I assumed they were roughing him up for daring to thrash a lady. The unfortunate woman meanwhile desperately tried to save her husbad from the men.

Later I saw the man standing in a bus the woman holding a hankerchief close to his cheek where one of the men had hit him. The poor woman stood next to him looking completely fear-struck and timorous, probably thnking of what he would do to her when they got home. Can't forget that scene for a long long time. Sometimes I wonder if that woman is badly bruised lying on a hospital bed right now.

This is one of those topics that arouse instant angst in me. Neglect of the elderly and child labour being the other major ones. I am seriously thinking of some initiative that will go beyond the regular social work and actually do something faster about these issues. Not that I am blaming or criticizing the social workers. They are one helluva amazing people and I truly admire their capacity to think beyond selfish purposes. But around me I see many many concerned people of my age who are concerned and willing to spend some time, money and effort but they dont know how to do it. So I am thinking... Any suggestions?

Why do we???

Why do we chase for those who dont care a damn about u
...and leave behind all those who can give a life for us :)))
May be thts the way L.I.F.E. is!!!==================================================================================================

Theres something wrong with my blog...I am not able to post replies to people's comments on some more icing.....Mommmmyyyyyyyyyy :((....Apologies to everyone whom I have not replied :(

Masti time :D

Papers over yay!!!Now me back on track and so is the blog......MASTI TIME!!!! :D

:)

Yeah thats me :)

Hurray :)

PARTY TIME!!!MY FRIEND KRITS BACK....YAY!!!:D:D:D